A
couple of weeks ago my Lover went out of town. This happens quite often and
USUALLY isn't a big deal at our house but this time was different. This time
was different because he just got a sweet new sexy truck and him leaving town
meant THE TRUCK WAS MINE for a few days. 🙌🏾 I am NOT a lover of driving. To be honest, I hate
it actually. But for those few days I looked for every single possible excuse
to jump in the truck and drive somewhere. We need q-tips? I'm on it. You need a
cold drAnk? Let's go. None of your underwear suddenly fits? Let's go shopping. I
mean seriously, every single thing I could run an errand for, I did. It was
glorious. I loved every moment of driving around in that truck, feeling like a
bad A.
Eventually, the sad
day finally arrived when I had to go pickup my Lover from the airport and end
our romance. With the truck. THE TRUCK, yall! Geez. I had assumed I would drive
the truck to the airport because surely he would want his truck back as soon as
possible, plus I needed that final joy ride as sort of a crescendo to the love
affair I had with it. Oddly, the whole day I felt unsettled about driving it to
pick him up. It wasn't because it was far, I drove the truck HOME from the
airport when he left, NBD. I couldn't figure out WHY I was feeling that way. I
tried to ignore it and get on with my day. When it was time to leave I hopped
in the truck like I had done 172 times before but as SOON as I sat in the
driver's seat I felt it again, that yucky feeling. This time it was a little
stronger and was accompanied by a voice in my head whispering, "Don't take
the truck. Just don't." Ugh, I was
annoyed. I WANTED TO DRIVE THE TRUCK! I told Isaak about my feeling because he
was coming with me and he was all, "It's fine. You'll be fine. Don't
worry. Let's just go." And since I always take life altering advice from
my 11 year old, I agreed. He was right. I was
over reacting. How would this drive be any different from all the 172 errands I
ran the past few days? I backed out of the driveway, drove through the
neighborhood, and came to the stop sign to leave the hood and be on our way. As
SOON as I stopped at the stop sign, it happened one final time. My stomach
turned. I felt a heaviness and blah and then the voice in my head came back.
"Jessica. Please turn around. Do not take the truck. Just switch cars.
This is your last chance to make the right decision." AArrGHHhhhHh!!!! Fine. FINE FINE FINE. I made
a big u-turn, drove back though the neighborhood and parked the truck in the
driveway. Isaak looked up at me confused. I was so annoyed I didn't explain
right away. I just said in my angry mom voice, "We're taking my car."
There was total
silence in the car until we got on the highway. I was too mad to speak or
explain anything. Then as SOON as we merged into the crazy speeding traffic of
the highway, an 18-wheeler from a couple cars ahead of us had a blowout with
one of their tires. The surrounding cars reacted by swerving left and right and
all over which created even more of a panic for everyone. Then a massive chunk
of the tire came flying directly at us! I tried to miss being hit by it but
there were cars on both sides of my car so I just gripped my steering wheel as
tight as possible, screamed at Isaak to duck down, and in all the chaos of what
felt like a dream I watched that tire slam through my windshield shattering
glass into every directio…
Just
kidding. That didn't happen. Did I freak you out? Cuz, yall. The real story is
that NOTHING happened on the way to the airport in my car. We got to the
airport safe and sound without even so much as a close call. I was so confused. I thought SURELY I would find out the reason for those impressions. But no, I didn’t. And if I recall correctly, most of the time when I listen to the spirit nothing
happens. Don't get me wrong, I've witnessed some pretty spectacular miracles
that were led by the spirit and the promptings I've felt. But the majority of
the time, nothing big happens. And I may be assuming, but I'm pretty sure
it's like that for most of us. We never find out what WOULD have happened if we
didn't listen or even what DID happen because we listened. Maybe sometimes if
we're lucky we do! But usually? Nope. My point in writing this post is to help
ME remember that listening to the spirit isn't always about getting that
satisfaction afterward that you KNOW you did the right thing because Karen down
the street was having a bad day and said a prayer that someone would pick up
her dog poop and you just happened to be walking by and saw the pile of
steaming poo and felt prompted to grab it and then Karen ran outside to tell
you how you were the answer to her dog poop prayer that day! (I hope you read
that incredibly long sentence all in one breath because that's how I meant for
it to be read. If not, try again.) No. It's not like that. I seem to think it
is or SHOULD be but I'm wrong in that assumption. Sometimes it's about those
around me needing something that I'll never find out about, sometimes it's an
obedience test to see if I'll do what is being asked even if it's doesn't make
sense, is awkward, or out of my comfort zone, and ALWAYS it's a strengthening
tool to add threads to the rope that ties me to my Savior.
Regardless of what
purpose it's serving, the secret to being a ⭐️RocKsTaR⭐️
is: JUST LISTEN TO THE SPIRIT NO MATTER WHAT. I have a testimony that doing so
will bless you in countless ways. ♥️
Okay, now rewind a
bit back to the REAL story as we headed to the airport to get my Lover:
Once I finally was
able to let out some stream and calm down, I decided to explain to Isaak what
just happened. I knew it would be a valuable teaching moment for him about
listening to the spirit even when it doesn't make sense. I told him about the
feelings I had been experiencing all day, then again when we got in the truck
to leave, and then finally as we came to the stop sign to leave the
neighborhood. I described to him how the feeling/prompting got a teense
stronger each time it presented itself. I told him how it was inconvenient for
me to turn around; it was irritating to me to have to drive my car. I knew dad
would bebummed he didn't have his truck to drive home from the airport. There
were so many reasons why taking the truck made more sense but I chose instead,
to let the spirit be my guide. I had to tell myself that I would much rather
take my car and nothing bad happen and I never think about it again, than take
dad's truck going against the feelings I had felt and then something terrible
happen and I regret not listening to that prompting for the rest of my life. I
explained to Isaak that sometimes we receive impressions or promptings or
feelings and we are unsure if it's the spirit or if it's just our own heads
psyching us out, making it difficult to know if you should obey. I told him
that was exactly how I felt today. I was confused and that's NORMAL, even for a
mom. But my rule of thumb in those situations is to ask myself, "Is what
I’m being asked to do a positive safe thing? Is it good or bad?" And if I
don't see any harm in doing whatever it is, I assume it's the spirit. Maybe
sometimes it isn't. Maybe sometimes it's just my head being crazy. My head has
quite the reputation for being spontaneously weird, I won't lie. Who knows! No
harm in it if I follow my rule of thumb. But if it IS the spirit, I'm building
a stronger relationship between Heavenly Father and myself by listening. I'm
possibly answering someone's prayer. I could be avoiding a rotten situation.
AND each time I act on the spirit in faith and trust, the promptings become
more clear-cut and emphatic for me next time. Isaak continues to impress me
every day with his outlook and understanding of life and this time was no
different. He agreed on everything and said he was glad I took my car and
listened to the spirit. He even pointed out to me, "Just because something
may not happen as we drive to the airport in YOUR car, doesn't mean we would
have been safe in dad's truck too. What if us taking the truck back to the
house delayed our trip just enough to avoid something terrible. You just never
know, mom." I mean, COME ON. Isn't he the greatest?!
I've
decided to make it a new personal goal of mine to always ACT on the spirit when
I feel/hear it, no matter WHAT it is. Even if it's just my crazy head saying
silly stuff, as long as it's good and positive. Obvs. Pff. 😂 Now please enjoy my most recent spontaneous moment that happened the other day on
the treadmill right smack in the middle of a conversation with my friend. It
may or may not have been the spirit that whispered this prompting to me, but it
was an EXCEPTIONALLY positive impression so of course, I had to act on it. 😏👊🏾
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