Who is Memphis?

WHO IS MEMPHIS is one of the most asked questions I've been receiving! Many of you have noticed the name in my bio, have seen the name hidden in my rowdy art posts, or read the signature at the bottom of my blog posts. Am I moving to Memphis? Do I have a pet named Memphis? Is this my middle name? Is Memphis an acronym for something hilarious? (if you can create an acronym for Memphis that makes me laugh out loud I'll send you a sticker btw) Who is MEMPHIS?!

If you're a long time follower of mine, you know my infatuation for characters. I'm obsessed with them. I do different characters at all hours of the day and night. I make them up while I'm in the shower. I imitate them when I see one on TV or happen to notice one in public. There's just something about becoming someone else for a moment in time that fills my soul with satisfaction. Believe it or not, I'm actually a pretty introverted extrovert. My vision board says it best with the phrase, "shy by nature but showy in conquest."  Sadly, I've always sensed that people who have only observed me online are more than likely disappointed when then come across me in person. I don't entertain 24/7. I'm absolutely hilarious and ridiculous, don't get me wrong.😂 It's just toned down A LOT and the spontaneous rowdy only comes out if I’m ultra  comfortable with someone. Having said that, I DO have a secret power that in some situations DOES allow me to go BIG around strangers. That secret power is putting on a different persona; one of my many characters. Becoming someone else allows me to let go of all insecurities and vulnerabilities. It's how I attack all scary things in my life; I just become someone else!

Let's back this up a little for explanations sake 🍑 (picture me doing a little booty scoot backwards). A few months ago I was pondering what name I would choose for myself if I HAD to choose a new name. We ALL know ourselves better than anyone else knows us. So, with what you know about yourself, what would you choose as your new replacement name? I asked my entire family and made them all choose a new name for themselves. I even asked a handful of my friends because I was so intrigued by the names people would choose. Their new name revealed so much about their unique personality and it was fascinating to see them in the light they see themselves. Some people felt really uncomfortable with this question and couldn't choose. Some blurted out their new name before I could even finish the question. The experiment was so fun to watch. I chose a name for myself but something about it was off and then The Major, my Lover, suggested MEMPHIS. YALL. THE HEAVENS OPENED when this name rolled off his tongue. It was like a scene in a movie and everything was in slow motion. You know how when someone says something in slow motion on TV and it sounds like a giant, loud, long, slow burp? LIKE THAT. And then a bright beam of light shone behind him and his right canine tooth glistened with a blinding star as he smiled and winked after saying my new name, shaking his head yes. THIS was my name. NO DOUBT. Ever since then I've felt like I. AM. MEMPHIS.

Let me introduce you to Memphis. Memphis is everything I aspire to be one day. She is THE BEST version of myself I can possibly imagine. She is everything on my vision board. Some of her qualities I already possess, some I'm working toward. The MAJORITY of her physical characteristics I'll never have which makes me want to cry but ITS FINE, at least I have her booty. Memphis is a bad ass. She isn't apprehensive about anything. She doesn't second guess herself or replay conversations she's had with friends over and over in her head and analyze her words and reactions and then curl up, rocking herself in the fetal position wishing she hadn't said this or that or made this face or worn that outfit (was that sentence long enough for you?). She is bold, self-assured, tenacious, energetic, influential, and stubborn. She is outgoing and makes friends with everyone she meets. She is the CEO of everywhere and everything. She has a slight bit of a sass mouth but it's endearing and she uses it to her advantage. She is THE COOLEST person in the room. Like when Alabama scribbled, "you are so cool" on a napkin to Clarence Worley as he was shooting up the room; THAT cool. When she steps into a room, people instantly sense her positive energy and they HAVE to know her. They gravitate toward her and she thrives on it. The vibe she gives off is welcoming and comfortable to be around. It radiates throughout the room and not only does it pump HER up to be even more incredible, it overflows onto everyone else and makes THEM want to be incredible too. She drives around town with the windows down and music blaring in her jacked up Dodge Ram with the Memphis license plates and the American flag flapping in the wind. OH, and she has one tooth just to the right of her front teeth, that is completely blinged out in diamonds like Sporty Spice had. She is a ⭐️ROCKSTAR⭐️.

Once I recognized my role in this movement, I began to get really anxious and uncomfortable. ME? I have to approach people I don't know? AND speak to them? It was terrifying; CRIPPLING even. I DO NOT DO THIS. I may come across outgoing and effortless to talk to online, but that's because I'm hiding behind my laptop. This is the HARDEST thing for me. Trust me, I'm the ultimate queen of awkward. It's actually pretty comical. It's ok though because there's good news! I now have a firm testimony in the fact that whatever it is you feel is hardest for you to tackle in life, whatever positive quality you struggle most with possessing, THAT is a COLOSSAL part of your greatest potential. WHICH MEANS, knowing this information puts you just THAT much closer to understanding the greatest version of YOU! HECK. YES. The bad news is, Satan knows us JUST as well as our Father in Heaven does. As Peter Johnson said during this last conference, "The adversary is aware of who you are. He knows of your divine heritage and SEEKS TO LIMIT YOUR EARTHY AND HEAVENLY POTENTIAL by using the three D's: Deception. Distraction. Discouragement." This is why it's hard. The opposition is relentless. He wants to convince you that you SUCK at whatever it is you struggle with. He will stop at nothing to deter you from seeing yourself as Heavenly Father sees you, your greatest potential.

I knew I could not allow Satan to win this battle, not anymore. I had let him rob me of this quality for years and I was done. I decided to fight back no matter what it took. I rehearsed what I had planned to say to people as I walked up to them. Everything about it was awkward. I would adjust my "script" and then try again. I practiced in the shower, at the gym in my head, making dinner, and even asked my missionary son for help. I kept telling myself that if I just kept practicing alone and in my head, it would sound better or become more natural. NOPE. The approach was such a crucial part of the movement and was becoming such a fail as I practiced that I just started praying for a miracle. Everyday I prayed I would figure this out somehow. SOME how, the right words would come to me. They didn't. BUT, I did feel prompted to enlist the help of my friend who is GREAT with words. SHE WENT TO HARVARD YALL. She came up with a great script and even though it flew out of my mouth more naturally, I was still consumed with fear at the idea of approaching someone. So she calmly said, "Just pretend you're Memphis."

Memphis is the personality I become when I approach people. I still look like me on the outside OBVS, but on the inside I am 100% Memphis. Now don't worry, I'm not fake to everyone I meet. That would defeat the purpose. I just try to envision the BEST version of myself and become THAT; which is of course, Memphis. I highly suggest trying this method out for yourself if you're anything like me and need assistance to just TALK TO OTHER HUMANS. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Imagine what the best version of YOU would be like. How would he or she act? How would you carry yourself? What qualities would you possess? Would you treat people differently? Using a vision board like I've done will also help you envision your best you. Then after you figure it all out and have it just right, you get to do the best part. NAME YOURSELF. My thinking behind this experiment is that the more I PRETEND to be the greatest version of myself, the closer I get to actually BECOMING that version. Isn't that how we learn to do everything? The more reps I get in, the better I become at whatever it is I’m trying to learn.💥BAM💥I know, sometimes I'm a GENIUS.😏

Why am I telling you to do this? Did you think I was going to start this movement and do it ALL MYSELF?! Heck no! My hope is that each and everyone of you will be a part of it. You'll ALL start talking to strangers and getting to know the people around you! Yes, even skin suit guy at the gym. 😬😩 Some of you are already super amazing and don't need a character to help you fight the fear, but some of you are like me and just need a slight push. In that case, I urge you to find YOUR Memphis. 👊🏾